


I Will Choose My Ending

by RinHaruismyOTP



Series: Unconnected Merthur Works [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10701837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinHaruismyOTP/pseuds/RinHaruismyOTP
Summary: “There’s no one I’d rather die beside," said Merlin. “But you’re not going to die.”





	I Will Choose My Ending

****

“You know,” said Arthur. “This was never how I expected to die.”

Merlin flinched. “You’re not going to die, sire.”

“I expected it to be in battle, fighting to the end,” he continued as if Merlin hadn’t spoken. “With the knights by my side. Maybe I’d sacrifice myself for them, or some civilians or something. Maybe you, what with your tendency to run out into the middle of a battle impulsively.”

“Arthur…” Merlin squinted through the darkness, desperate for a glimpse of his king. He failed.

“Not like this,” he said. “Not rotting in some castle dungeon with you.” He went quiet, and for the life of him Merlin didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he said in the end. “I’m sorry, Arthur. You’re not going to die.” Try as he might, he couldn’t squeeze his hand out of the magic restricting cuffs around his wrist that seemed to be the standard here, wherever ‘here’ was, and the sensation of being disconnected from his magic was not a pleasant one. It was there, he could feel it, and yet it was just out of reach. It was irritating, like he was being teased: the power to get them out of this was there, but he couldn’t _use_ it.

“It’s not your fault,” Arthur said quietly, and Merlin could tell from his voice that he didn’t completely believe what he was saying.

“I should’ve told you earlier about my magic. I should’ve realised it was a trap, if I’d told you I could’ve-”

“Shut up, Merlin. It’s not your fault. It is what it is.” There was quiet for a moment. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Merlin, but I really wish you weren’t here.”

“Sire?”

Arthur snorted. “Don’t you ‘sire’ me. You shouldn’t have to die because of me. I’ll do everything in my power to get you out of this, I promise.”

“There’s no one I’d rather die beside,” said Merlin. “But you’re not going to die.”

“You’re my best friend, Merlin. I’m sorry I’ve led you here.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, stop apologising.” _But I do,_ thought Merlin, _and you’re going to hate me when you realise what I’ve done_.

He closed his eyes. He’d done the right thing. Arthur was not going to die.

 

They reminisced for the next couple of hours. Arthur would bring up events from their past, make a comment about how stupid Merlin had been and Merlin would correct him, explaining the truth of each situation. Merlin talked about Ealdor a bit, and his mother, and his heart panged. In response, Arthur told him about growing up in the castle, about Uther and Morgana. Merlin’s throat was sore from talking so long without water. It seemed strange that inside these small, four walls was when they themselves had removed all of theirs.

“Did you feel it too?” Arthur asked suddenly, and Merlin blinked, confused.

“Feel what?”

“This thing between us. I never wanted to bring it up, in case not, but we’re going to die soon anyway, right? Did you think we could be… more?”

Merlin fought to keep his sobs silent. “God, yes,” he whispered, and had never wanted to be able to touch his prince more. And yet his shackles held him tightly to the wall, Arthur’s to another.

“I’m glad. I love you, Merlin.” His voice was strong, fierce, but resigned. Merlin’s stomach twisted. Regret, perhaps, for what they couldn’t have. It was like his magic – strong, and _there_ , but ultimately useless now.

“I love you too,” he said, and his voice was nowhere near as strong as Arthur’s, just emotionless. Salty tears ran into his mouth as he spoke.

Arthur was not going to die, and that was what mattered.

 

Footsteps approached down the corridor and Merlin jerked awake, heart pounding. He heard Arthur stir. This time when he told his king he loved him his voice was desperate and he got no reply before the door swung open, admitting two guards, and with them torchlight.  

“ _Merlin?_ ” Arthur’s voice was horrified. “What did you _do_?”

Merlin looked over at him, and was immensely satisfied to be greeted by the sight of his own body locked up on the other wall, staring at him in terror. He had been worried the enchantment he’d cast in the brief few moments before the shackles had started working would have faded by now. “Now now Merlin,” he said, a little breathless in his relief, “don’t try anything.”

One of the guards was unfastening him from the wall. Arthur was wide eyed. “No! No, _I’m_ Arthur, I’m Arthur Pendragon, _I’m_ the one you want! It’s me!” The other guard laughed.

“We know what your king looks like, boy,” he said, and guards moved to flank Merlin, pushing him towards the door.

“Wait,” said Merlin, stopping dead. “My servant. He goes free, and I’ll come quietly. Otherwise you can be sure as hell I’ll put up a fuss.”

“Merlin don’t do this,” pleaded Arthur, and Merlin shut his eyes as he started yanking on his chains connecting him to the wall.

“Be quiet, Merlin,” he said, surprised at how much his heart hurt. He was terrified, he was going to die, and yet the worst part of it all was that he’d never see his king again. He almost laughed – when would he ever have expected that?

A guard grunted. “You’re in luck. He’ll be free to go in a few hours, we need a messenger.” A weight lifted off Merlin’s shoulders – his plan wasn’t in vain. Arthur would live.

“Thank you,” he said, and resumed his walk towards the door.

“Merlin! No! Don’t you dare leave me! Merlin!”

He took one last glimpse of Arthur’s face before the door slammed shut, at the pain and anguish so clear in his features.

 _I love you_ , he thought desperately as he walked to the corridor in measured steps, as if he could make Arthur hear if he thought it hard enough. Maybe he could. _I love you, and you’re going to live. That’s all that matters._

_That’s all that’s ever mattered._

**Author's Note:**

> ...sorry?
> 
> Tried my hand at angst, wasn't very good at it?  
> Please tell me if you spot any mistakes!!!


End file.
